China's economy has surpassed Japan and many expect that the United States will be next. What does the future hold to have their growing economic influence on the world stage?
It sounds like an oxymoron to suggest that China could be a leader in developing feminine energy on the planet but that could be the case if the country's youth have their way.
China has long been a bastion of masculine energy. A nation where people "live to work." Their culture is predicated on individuals making as much money as they can, regardless of the sacrifice it takes to get ahead. It is a hub of external "doing" activity.
That's why I was intrigued by an article in the International Herald Tribune which suggests that the Chinese youth are shifting away from these traditions. They are interested in developing their "soft power" (which is synonymous with feminine energy).
The author of the article, Didi Kristen Tatlow, interviewed students from the post 80's generation in China to discuss their aspirations and what drives this new group of leaders.
She discovered the majority don't envy the wealth of individual American citizens. They say they can easily get "iPhones" and other gadgets, so accumulating material things is not a motivating factor.
What they are looking for is a better value system. They want a life with quality and meaning - a life which maintains the importance of home, family and cultural roots. They want something more than the single - focus on work that drove their parents.
This search for "moral meaning" is at the heart of feminine energy. It "works to live" and is all about being, rather than doing.
The Chinese youth are unexpected leaders in this quest. But when the offspring of those who lived through three decades of communism followed by three decades of an aggressive economic growth curve seek to balance their value-system, we should take inspiration from their leadership. Do you think that we will?
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Step 1: Self-Awareness
February 03, 2011
January 18, 2011
Lessons Learned Crossing the Street
There are many lessons to be learned from crossing the street - especially in Viet Nam, which is home to 20 million motorbikes. I swear, at any point in time, the majority of them are roaring about!
We experienced it first in the city of Saigon where there are eight million people and five and one half million motorbikes. Every street is teeming with them - some transporting entire families, others loaded with agricultural or building supplies. One poor driver even struggled to balance a huge water tank on the back of his seat.
Most of the drivers are wearing masks as a defense against the fumes. It makes them look like a stampede of some strange and unpredictable animal as you stand assessing your options on the corner.
Prior to my trip, many people warned me about the frenetic activity and craziness of the traffic. One friend even likened crossing the street to assisted suicide. It's not unheard of for an inexperienced tourist to spend 15 stressful minutes to get to the opposite curb.
But I learned that crossing the street in Viet Nam is a reflection of life. It's best to start by finding a calm place inside, regardless of the commotion around you. Then, just like life, you have to let go of fear, take a risk and step off the curb. If you are going to progress, you won't get there by standing still. New sights beckon, a few meters away, and getting there is part of the adventure!
Once you are in the midst of the motorized jungle, you have to focus on your goal. Now is not the time to hesitate or question your decision. You have to walk with confidence, with your eye on your destination, as you proceed forward. (Remember that this applies to life as well.)
The last thing that you learn is to trust. There is an ebb and flow to the city and this rhythm is part of the dance. If you take the lead, the drivers will follow. We each have a goal and, if we accommodate one another, we'll both get there. Once again, these lessons in crossing the street are important in life. Are you ready to start walking?
January 13, 2011
Good and Bad All At Once?
Can things be both good and bad all at once? On a recent trip to Cambodia, I listened to descriptions of the darkest accounts imaginable, inflicted by the Khmer Rouge, and I struggled to process it.
Still reeling from the horror of those stories, I experienced the dramatic beauty of the Angkor Wat temples. Marveling at their architectural perfection, I wondered how these polar opposites can exist alongside one another, all within one country.
Cambodia's palm tree is a metaphor. Providing roofs for houses, fruit to eat and juice to drink, it was always considered a tree of life by the country's citizens. But at the "Killing Fields," they learned their revered foliage could also be the tree of death when the Khmer Rouge used the sharp edge of its branches to chop off the heads of their fellow countrymen.
Does that make the palm tree good OR bad? Consider that it could be both good AND bad all at once...just like all of us. We do good things and we do bad things. More importantly, maybe do we don't need to decide whether the palm is good or bad, but simply let it exist - just as it "is."
Maybe this same principle applies to everything else? William Shakespeare obviously believed that to be true as he said, "There is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
That makes sense to me and here's my conclusion: When I over think things, I fall into judgment, which is when I label things as good or bad. Judgment takes me out of the present moment and away from feelings of peace.
So rather than labeling things as good or bad, I'm going to practice just "letting them be." It doesn't mean that I have to try to make sense out of the insanity of the Khmer Rouge but rather that I'll practice acceptance.
Like the Cambodian people, I hope that will allow me to move forward in a healthy way, regardless of the situation. Can you see that things can be good and bad all at once so there is no sense in labeling them?
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January 11, 2011
Forgive AND Remember
"How can one forgive, yet prevent it from happening again?" I asked myself this while touring the "Killing Fields" recently in Cambodia. My answer was, "by being aware and remembering."
The facts are almost unbelievable - between 1975 and 1979, the Khmer Rouge killed between two and three million of their own people in an attempt to restructure their country into a complaint, agricultural, peasant-run cooperative.
The stories of their methods are gruesome. They separated families, brutally killed the babies and turned children into soldiers, demanding they take their parents' lives. It was all done in the name of "cleansing and purifying" the nation.
It is hard to believe these heart-breaking acts were being carried out while I was at home eating my Cheerios. It is even harder to imagine as we see Phnom Penh today, vibrant and fast-paced. It is nicknamed the "Lexus City" for its availability of luxury goods.
Yet, only a few decades ago, Phnom Penh was a ghost town when the Khmer Rouge marched its inhabitants, regardless of age or physical condition, to work as slaves in the countryside.
Today, many of the city's youth would like to "forgive and forget" as they move forward in the name of progress. The economy has been liberalized - the country is opening a stock market and foreign investors have announced they plan to erect the world's second tallest building, which is heady stuff! Some would like to ignore the pain of the past while others are in complete denial, saying the deaths are a fairy tale.
However, only remembering will break the pattern evident throughout Cambodian history: after conflict and turmoil the country builds with flourish (eg. Angkor Wat). Following that, a new and repressive leader often instigates a painful civil war.
Each of us can learn from the atrocities of Cambodia. It is important to forgive and to move forward but, to change a pattern, we have to remember what got us there in the first place. We can't deny; we must be aware. Can you forgive those who have harmed you while still remembering?
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January 06, 2011
Effortless Energy Takes Effort
Just because you are good at something doesn't mean that you don't have to work at it. Contrary to some misconceptions, let me say definitively that "Effortless Energy" takes effort.
Over the past couple of years I've discussed the concept of "Effortless Energy," which is your natural gift and special talent - what you were put on earth to do.
When you are in your "Effortless Energy," you are connected to the source, seeming to step outside of time and space. You could be working on a project for two minutes or two hours as you often lose all concept of time. It's like swimming with the current in the river...there is flow.
However, it is important to recognize that all achievements take effort. None of us are super heroes with the ability to effortlessly accomplish great things without contributing grit, determination and spirit.
Unfortunately, we live in a world of expectation and entitlement. We want things to come to us effortlessly. In fact, we pretend that we are so talented that we don't have to try. And that is to our detriment.
There is far more satisfaction in connecting with our true talent and putting all our passion behind it. When we put forth great effort for the things that we love - the things that truly motivate us - that is when we reach the greatest heights and feel utmost accomplishment.
That's how I feel writing this blog. I have never believed that I was a natural writer. But I've always liked new ideas and discovering what makes people tick. I feel that my greatest talent is helping others be the very best that they can be.
So I devote myself to blogging to share these thoughts. Getting my postings written takes priority over many other things that I like to do. It is often a sacrifice. I agonize over concepts, struggling with words and sentence structure.
I'd like everyone to believe that I am so smart and capable that this comes effortlessly, but it is simply not the case. I have to work at it. And I've discovered that it is better than having it come too easily as I appreciate the results more.
Effort doesn't reduce you, it enhances you. It holds great power of transformation. Put effort into your "Effortless Energy" and grow! Does it feel worth it to you?
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January 04, 2011
This Week's Diet
A number of years ago, I was in the audience for the Oprah show. During a commercial break she turned to us and said, "Are you hungry? I just ate two bites of chocolate back stage. That amount is supposed to be satisfying. I'm not sure if it will work but that's what I am trying this week."
I can relate entirely. This week I am trying the "Imagine Diet" after having read about it in the New York Times. They titled it, "Mind Over Platter: I Think, Therefore I Am Full."
Basically, it says that rather than denying thoughts of food, I should picture myself eating it. For example, if I imagine myself savoring chocolate gelato, letting it swirl in my mouth and sliding over my tongue and then down my throat, I'll get adjusted to it and desire less of it.
This is the same principle as adjusting to bright lights or bad smells - it's called habitation. It's what happens when you are finished eating a big meal and you are so full that you can't eat another bite. But then you are suddenly hungry again when it is time for dessert. Sound familiar? We habitate to certain foods but are still hungry for others.
The research, conducted by Carnegie Mellon, shows that if you are eating chocolate, you won't lose your desire for cheese - you'll just feel like having less chocolate. And, interestingly, it doesn't matter if you are eating chocolate or thinking about it. Either way, you reach a habitation limit.
Isn't that cool? So, starting today, I am imagining that I am eating chocolate gelato all day and maybe I'll want it less. Until now I've never grown tired of it in my entire life but it is worth a try. I can't imagine having more pleasant thoughts. What do you think?
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December 30, 2010
New Year's Resolution Motivators and Demotivators
If you are one of the more than 120 million people making a New Year's resolution, you'd be wise to take a moment and consider your personal motivators and demotivators.
I thought about this on a recent trip to Mexico when I found myself on a sailboat with two couples who were clearly motivated by competition. As they "one-upped" each other, I sat by like a fifth-wheel, completely demotivated to enter the conversation and get to know them better, but they were clearly having a wonderful time. It was a case of "to each his own!"
It's the same with exercise. Some like having an exercise partner so they can compete. They find it a motivator to see who can run longer, faster, or lift more weight. If you recognize yourself in this and your New Year's resolution relates to fitness, you would be wise to get someone to compete with at the gym.
As I explained above, others (like me) find competition a demotivator. I'm far more interested in having a fitness partner who will share a personal anecdote or story as we exercise. With such an appealing motivator, I will have a greater chance of success.
I am also demotivated by a dictum to follow someone else's program. In fact, having someone hand me an eating plan is a challenge for me to find a way around "their rules."
When it comes to food and exercise, I have learned that I am motivated by making my own rules and by monitoring myself. Additionally, I love music and will exercise with more enthusiasm if I can move to a beat.
Another of my personal motivators is being outdoors. In fact, I find that by spending time each day enjoying music and walking in nature, that it is easier to follow what my New Year's resolution requires regarding food or exercise.
The key here is to take the first Stilletto step and become aware of your personal motivators and demotivators. As individuals, what gets us going or slows us down is different for each of us. Identify what will support you and your New Year's resolutions and put it into action. What would that be?
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December 23, 2010
Celebrate with a Childlike Christmas
Do you have a favorite childhood memory of Christmas? Hang on to that story and the good feelings it generates for that in itself is a celebration, which can awaken the divine child inside of you.
In her book "The Four Fold Way," Angeles Arrien suggests that we ask ourselves, "How do I use the healing salves of singing, dancing and story telling?" She believes that, in modern society, we are estranged from our mythical roots. And, she says that one way to reconnect is to pay attention to what gives us heart and meaning.
I believe that there is no better time to do that than at Christmas. Remember your favorite stories, sing your most heart-warming Christmas carols, and dance around the room to "Jingle Bells." Each of these activities will re-acquaint you with the fun of living like children, when everyday was a celebration.
In our busy lives it is easy to forget what we once enjoyed. We routinely ignore good jokes, missing the opportunity to laugh. We have forgotten how to play. But remembering how to dance, sing and tell stories is healing.
My favorite Christmas memory took place at my Grandmother's house. All her children and their families had traveled a good distance to share the holidays with her. She met us with open arms, lots of good baking, and brightly colored, hand-crocheted afghans that she had made. This demonstration of love was a potent healing tonic.
Grandma wasn't a saint. She swore when she lost at cards and insisted that each of us agree with her politics. Nonetheless, we knew that she recognized her grandchildren as individuals and that was validating.
Arrien might call my Grandmother a modern day medicine woman because she guided each of us to experience the qualities of wonder, hope and awe.
The healing salves she extended allowed us to pay attention to our life story and I cling to that today, as I reminisce about my favorite Christmas memory. It awakens feelings of childlike joy and holiday anticipation from within me. Do you have a special Christmas memory to share?
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December 21, 2010
Change your Actions by Changing your Subconscious
Have you ever resolved to do something and then watched powerlessly as you did the exact opposite, almost automatically? Your subconscious is directing your actions based on beliefs it has formed, even without your permission.
Those beliefs run your life. Somewhere along the way you heard someone talking or observed something and decided it was true. It became real for you. All actions that don't align with the belief cause stress so the subconscious directs action to reinforce the belief.
That's why people go to hypnotists to quit smoking or lose weight. They want to change the subconscious beliefs that propel them toward these unhealthy actions.
However, you can rid your subconscious of harmful beliefs and incorporate healthy ones all by yourself. A simple way to do that is by learning to meditate.
Each time you enter a state of total relaxation, your conscious and subconscious minds are in close alignment. It is easy to transfer a thought from one to the other, where it becomes a belief.
Start by visualizing something that you want and make it real. Whether it is refusing a cigarette or a chocolate dessert, see yourself doing it clearly and imbue it with feelings. Imagine how wonderful it is to walk away freely and lightly, living your new reality.
Remind yourself with words that affirm this is who you are and this is what you do. This will help you form a new belief - one that your subconscious will act on in the future.
I used this to program myself to lose weight. I wanted to do adventure travel so I visualized myself as an adventurer - climbing, hiking and ziplining. Everytime I considered skipping my exercise routine or taking a second helping, I reminded myself that I was an adventurer. I visualized my new mobility, felt good about it, and my subconscious complied.
Today, I do everything I believed an adventurer would do, thanks to my subconscious. It worked overtime to be sure that the changes I made to my beliefs became a reality. What will you visualize for yourself?
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December 16, 2010
Using Your Subconscious to Move Forward
We all need help from time to time and assistance is as close as your subconscious. Being open to accepting its aid can move you forward when you are stuck.
There are a couple of easy ways to access the wisdom of your subconscious and they are as follows:
1) Relax into any routine job - I often used this technique when acting as a corporate executive managing a department. If we had a sticky problem with no easy answer and were stuck in our analysis, I would ask everyone to let it be. Then I'd suggest they see what came to them later in the day when they were doing some routine activity such as brushing their teeth, taking a shower, or driving to work.
More than once, when we reconvened our meeting the next day, the feedback and ideas generated supplied exactly the answer we needed. It was amazing what it brought forth!
2) Acknowledge your dreams. It is probably the reason that Thomas Edison said, "Never go to bed without a request to your subconscious."
It was from a dream that Edison got the idea to invent the light bulb. And it's the reason people are often heard to say "let's sleep on it." Good answers come from our subconscious in our dreams.
Knowing this to be true also gives us the freedom and confidence to go to sleep rather than continuing to sit at our desks, working long hours after bedtime. We can be more productive turning it over to our subconscious mind than trying to figure it out ourselves!
Additionally, the more you acknowledge your dreams, the more answers they will provide for you. Like a child, it will enthusiastically share many ideas if you pay attention. But if ignored, your subconscious will again be like a child and go off to play by itself in a corner.
Every thought and idea starts in your subconscious. Its wisdom is there to help move you forward, if you are open to it. Will you accept help?
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