China's economy has surpassed Japan and many expect that the United States will be next. What does the future hold to have their growing economic influence on the world stage?
It sounds like an oxymoron to suggest that China could be a leader in developing feminine energy on the planet but that could be the case if the country's youth have their way.
China has long been a bastion of masculine energy. A nation where people "live to work." Their culture is predicated on individuals making as much money as they can, regardless of the sacrifice it takes to get ahead. It is a hub of external "doing" activity.
That's why I was intrigued by an article in the International Herald Tribune which suggests that the Chinese youth are shifting away from these traditions. They are interested in developing their "soft power" (which is synonymous with feminine energy).
The author of the article, Didi Kristen Tatlow, interviewed students from the post 80's generation in China to discuss their aspirations and what drives this new group of leaders.
She discovered the majority don't envy the wealth of individual American citizens. They say they can easily get "iPhones" and other gadgets, so accumulating material things is not a motivating factor.
What they are looking for is a better value system. They want a life with quality and meaning - a life which maintains the importance of home, family and cultural roots. They want something more than the single - focus on work that drove their parents.
This search for "moral meaning" is at the heart of feminine energy. It "works to live" and is all about being, rather than doing.
The Chinese youth are unexpected leaders in this quest. But when the offspring of those who lived through three decades of communism followed by three decades of an aggressive economic growth curve seek to balance their value-system, we should take inspiration from their leadership. Do you think that we will?
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Masculine/Feminine Energy
February 03, 2011
January 25, 2011
Reach Out to Take Care of Yourself
Feminine energy is very "other" oriented but, if women want to get ahead, they must break that pattern. To take care of themselves they need to reach out and network in a strategic manner.
It's all part of balancing their natural energy with a healthy dose of masculine energy and developing good Gender Physics.
Masculine energy starts by establishing a goal. Goals are how we grow. They mean you are taking a risk but that's how you succeed. Feminine energy is very risk averse so it's not a surprise that women don't set more goals. Just by setting a goal you are developing your masculine energy.
Next, you need to identify who can help you reach your goal. Once you've determined the individuals who are on that list, you need to decide how often you will reach out and connect with them.
However, in my experience, women are better at doing this for others than for themselves. For example, when I was doing investor relations at PotashCorp, I established a list of our company's major shareholders (those who owned 100,000 shares or more).
Then I set a target of visiting each of these shareholders personally, in their office, once per year. It was an aggressive action-plan that kept us constantly on the road, but it helped us stay in touch with those we depended upon for capital. We wanted to grow our company so their support was integral to us reaching our goal.
Notice how easy it was for me to set aggressive goals for my company? (It's an example of being very "other oriented.").
What is interesting is that I no longer work at PotashCorp and now have established my own speaking business. Have I established a goal? A list of those who can help me? Have I set targets as to how often to reach out and connect with them? Unfortunately, not. I know better but I don't do for myself exactly what made me successful at PotashCorp.
If you're like me, there is hope. We can both establish a goal, determine who can help us reach our goal, and decide how often we'll connect with them.
Most importantly, if we pretend that we are doing this for a client rather than for ourselves, we'll make it a priority. It's a way to "trick" ourselves into doing it.
Reaching out and strategically developing a network is key to meeting your goals and taking care of yourself. Are you ready to balance your "other" with yourself?
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January 20, 2011
Women's Contributions Forgotten
Women's contributions are forgotten when history is written. I thought about this while traveling in Viet Nam and taking in some of the war museums (whether you call it the Viet Nam war or the American war depends on your perspective, I learned).
While there, I watched a propaganda film produced by the Viet Cong in 1967 to encourage people to support their cause and fight the Americans. In the film, women were portrayed as bravely sabotaging the enemy by day while happily working the fields at night. It put new meaning to the phrase "a woman's work is never done."
Apparently the films did its job, as women signed up in droves and were highly effective Viet Cong guerrilla fighters. Unfortunately, after being an integral part of war, they weren't decorated at its conclusion and the government posts in the new communist administration went almost exclusively to the men.
Stieg Larrsen, author of the wildly successful "Millennium" trilogy, expresses the same sentiment in the preface of "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest." He says some six hundred women fought in the American civil war dressed up as men and wonders why this significant piece of history has been overlooked.
"Historians have often struggled to deal with women who do not respect gender distinctions, and no where is that distinction more sharply drawn than in the question of armed combat," he says.
When war is waged, women have not been shy to play their part as common soldiers alongside men. During the conflict, the "powers that be" welcome their help but are reluctant to acknowledge their contribution once success is reached.
It's not a surprise that women support the cause as feminine energy is strongly motivated by its value system. It's also not a surprise that women don't seek individual recognition, as feminine energy is dedicated to the collective.
There is an opportunity here to tell our stories and recognize our significance - especially those of our gender who act outside of accepted norms. In doing so, each of us can ensure that women's contributions are not forgotten. Shall we start?
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November 11, 2010
Everything Happens for a Reason
Sometimes things don't go as we plan or as we wish. Whether these difficult situations barrel toward us like a freight train or sneak up with the stealth of a cat, it helps to remember that they provide growth and that everything happens for a reason.
I am recovering from a detached retina, a serious eye condition, which can result in blindness. It started while I was traveling and looked like water entering the bottom of my mask while snorkeling. Convinced it was just a routine "floater," I continued on my trip.
By the time I got home, 2 1/2 weeks later, the sight in my left eye was nearly gone. And, the alarm of the medical folks examining me left no doubt that it was serious. They did surgery the same day, inserting a gas bubble in my eye designed to move my retina in place and keep it there while healing. Luckily, it has all gone smoothly.
Unfortunately, I can't get on an airplane until the bubble dissipates, which has disrupted my carefully laid plans. So I wonder, why did this happen and what is the meaning? There must be something that I am not seeing.
Vision is one of our animal instincts. When we see a stranger our brain asks, "Will you hurt me?" followed by, "Will you like me?" More than any other sense, it allows us to assess our world to control it.
I like control and now am being forced to surrender it. There is certainly a lesson in that. Also, the affected eye is on the left side of my body, which is related to the feminine. Maybe my masculine and feminine are out of balance and this is the body's natural way of recalibrating.
With my wings clipped, I have been looking at myself and realize that I have been living too much in the outside world and using too much masculine energy. Time to go inward and reconnect with the feminine.
My eye detached so I could detach. The Buddists believe that all attachment causes suffering and there is no peace where there is suffering. My body is my partner on my spiritual journey and this experience is simply a manifestation of my feelings on a sub-conscious level.
Everything happens for a reason and being aware will help us find it. Then we have to accept what we have found. Does "seeing" my situation help you?
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November 09, 2010
Does Giving Women Special Treatment Create Progress?
Do women need special treatment to progress or should we hang in and "duke it out" in the men's system?
I've been thinking about this since reading that the sports network, ESPN, is introducing an online version of its sports programming, targeted at women.
The announcement of this female sports brand is causing controversy amongst women athletes and sports fans, many of whom believe that it is condescending. Some say that they have worked hard to keep up with the boys and they now feel like they are being placed in a pink ghetto.
However, others think it's the only way that women will get the media attention that they deserve. Currently, mainstream broadcast networks give women athletes very little air time. In fact, a study from the University of Southern California found that just 1.4 percent of sports programming is devoted to women.
Women are different than men. For example, the ESPN research shows that women are more interested in storytelling (as is typical of feminine energy) so they intend to feature the personal journeys of athletes.
Because we're different, we try hard to fit in and "be one of them," which seldom works. We usually end up as "also rans" as is reflected in the low percentage of women CEO's. This is mirrored in the limited media coverage allotted to women athletes. It's a patriarchal system designed by men, for men, where women are not considered equal.
Unable to make progress within the existing system, we'll have to step outside and create a special framework of our own. The black leader, Malcolm X, learned this lesson. It was only when blacks established alternatives to the existing system that they were recognized as providing value.
By challenging the status quo, they created their own identity, making it easier to integrate and be accepted into the regular system. This is exactly what I predict for ESPN-W. Once the female-friendly network is established and running successfully, the regular station will pick up more sports coverage of women's sports.
Special treatment for women really can create progress. Men will recognize us if we recognize ourselves. Do you agree?
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November 04, 2010
Adapt for Understanding
If you've got something to say, it's important that your message is understood. Sharing a common language isn't enough. Your delivery style will be interpreted differently, depending on the energy and culture of the recipient, so be aware and adapt.
I worked for four different CEOs at PotashCorp. Each had a different energy, which affected the culture of the organization under their watch. I learned that I had to modify my communication style to find acceptance for my ideas.
The first liked to party and "be one of the boys." To gain respect and be heard, I had to be entertaining. By using slang and banter, I could playfully put down the guys and raise my position.
This communication method was effective with him but I quickly learned that if I did it in the presence of his wife or executive secretary, they relished putting me in my place. That didn't happen to the guys, just to me. Thus, this game of snakes and ladders required careful calculation.
The second CEO wanted the company to be one big happy family. He sought equilibrium and never flexed his muscles (even with the competition, unfortunately). Everyone was expected to temper differences and fit in. To get his approval, my ideas couldn't be presented as special. Rather, I had to come with the endorsement from the other management to convince him. It was all about the collective.
The third was a southerner, coming from a culture which is very indirect in nature. He would never give explicit orders but rather would make a statement - my job was to interpret his desires and make them a reality. If I openly asked, I was viewed as brash and abrasive so I tried to follow the hints and clues. And, I had to present my ideas accordingly, in a tone-downed manner so as not to put him off.
The fourth had an overabundance of masculine energy. He was action-oriented to a fault. Every discussion was viewed as an invitation to make a decision, which he did with lightening speed. I called him "quick draw" and learned never to approach him unless I knew the direction I wanted to go beforehand. To get my proposals passed, I had to be fast, without much preamble - he got bored quickly.
Four CEOs with four different energies caused me to use four unique styles to be understood. Once you are aware, you can adapt and modify. Are you ready to do what you need to do to get your message across?
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November 02, 2010
Is Culture Holding You Back?
As a woman, the culture of your home, your corporation or your country can hold you back. Do you unknowingly support that?
I'm just home from Morocco, which was a colony of France throughout the first half of the 20th century. Most locals speak French, making it a comfortable place for tourists from France to come and enjoy the sun. And lots do!
As I watched the French women around our hotel, I admired their style and wondered how they manage everything...A high percentage (82%) of them have careers. Along with that, they sport nice, slim, immaculately dressed bodies and each has at least a couple of children in tow. They seem so together.
Yet, they face cultural problems. In the most recent report of the World Economic Forum, which ranks countries according to gender equality, France fell to 46th place, behind Kazakhstan and Jamaica. Women in that country hold only 18 percent of elected positions and are paid 26 percent less than men.
Some are saying that an outdated Latin patriarchal culture is to blame. Statistics show that French men spend less than half the time the women do maintaining the home and caring for the children.
Ms. Fraisse, a French philosopher was quoted in the International Herald Tribune as saying that the country needs another revolution. Two centuries ago the country got rid of the king as father of the nation and now it needs to get rid of the father as king of the family.
Society needs to find ways to make marriage and motherhood compatible with women having careers, and that means having men more involved in the home and family.
Women can contribute to that cultural change by making it our objective to share parental duties. If we think that we are the only ones who can feed and clothe the kids, that's exactly what will happen to the detriment of all involved.
Changing culture begins with awareness for both ourselves and the men in our lives. Together we can work on our own little corner of the world. Are you ready to start?
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October 28, 2010
Want Respect? Prepared to Fight for It?
My last blog about the difficulties facing women politicians has me thinking about this. Research shows that they lose credibility when attacked. However, they can regain it by standing up for themselves.
In her book, "Talking 9 to 5," Deborah Tannen calls this practice "ritual fighting." Our legal system is based on such public debate, creating winners and losers. In court, the winner makes the best case for his/her client, while under-cutting the opponent's argument.
Masculine energy wants to win and it rises to the challenge of opposition. One person attacks, looking for holes and weakness in the proposal. Meanwhile, the other is spurred on by the adrenaline of the verbal battle, coming up with new angles. They work better under the pressure of the fight.
However, feminine energy has a very different reaction to ritual fighting. When attacked, it backs off and hedges its arguments as a form of protection, which can make the individual appear weak. Rather than helping sharpen the arguments, self-doubt and questions set in, which usually invites more attacks.
Unfortunately, for women who tend to carry more feminine energy, they have trouble presenting their ideas in an environment of open opposition. Organizations are often based on this model as the system was designed by men for men, and masculine energy thrives on a combative communication style.
When our company lawyer retired from PotashCorp, he gave a few closing remarks at the going away dinner, "roasting" his fellow executives. When he came to me he said, "Look out if you disagree with her. It's like running into a buzz saw." What caught me off guard was the admiration with which he said it - he believed that he was giving me the highest praise possible.
If you recognize yourself as someone who avoids ritual fighting, and if your workplace rewards it, be prepared to enter into an animated argument. It will be easier if you choose a topic about which you feel passionate. Once you've fought back, you'll gain respect. Are you up for the challenge?
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October 26, 2010
Sexist Name-Calling Hurts Women
The study of voter attitudes conducted by Women's Media Center, the WCF Foundation and Political Parity, shows that referring to a female candidate in derogatory terms such as calling her a prostitute, harms her far more than criticism based on her policy decisions.
The usual advice given to women is to ignore the attack rather than drawing attention to it but the study results say that is wrong. A direct response from the female candidate will help restore her reputation at the expense of her opponent.
The magnitude of negativity from the sexual slurs was surprising. For example, the female candidate lost twice as much support when mild sexist language was added to a political attack - voters saw her as that much less effective. But her support rebounded if she counter-attacked identifying the remark as "sexist, divisive rhetoric."
What's the lesson? Voters clearly want women to stand up for themselves. It's like fighting the school yard bully - if you take the taunts, others will think it is justified and join in. Women who enter the world of politics would be wise to get comfortable using their masculine energy. It understands that a good defense is a strong offense.
It's unfortunate but slurs are a common way to attack minorities. Those who use them aim to "one up" others. It happens, not only in politics, but also in the workplace.
If you are a victim of sexual slurs, remember that you are not at fault. Don't wait to see if gets worse - call the attacker on his behavior. I say wear his incivility as a badge of honor. Every step forward for human rights came from a struggle. Consider this a conscious-raising activity. It's your job to speak up, not just for yourself, but for women everywhere. That makes it a worthwhile cause, doesn't it?
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October 21, 2010
Real Men Take Paternity Leave
According to National Geographic, 54 countries have paternity leave and the USA lags the world. It's not that the USA doesn't have any real men; they just need the policy to avoid the stigma when they go back to work.
History shows that men will take paternity leave when it becomes a matter of public policy so the law in a country can make this a reality.
For example, Sweden introduced a "Daddy Leave" policy in 1995 saying couples would lose one month of leave when their baby was born unless it was used by the father. Then, in 2002, a second lose-it-or-use-it month was added. A decade ago only four percent of Swedish men took paternity leave but now a full 85 percent take time off when their babies are born.
In Germany, they passed a policy in 2007 that grants two months paid leave to fathers and now the number of men taking a leave when their babies are born has increased from 3 to 20 percent in just three years.
Paternity leave is mandatory in Portugal, while Iceland allots three months for each parent individually and an additional three months to be shared by both parents. More European countries are looking at such policies as their populations decline and labour shortages loom.
Leadership can also set an example. In Britain, Prime Minister David Cameron became the first leader of the U.K. to take paternity leave as he took several weeks to care for his newborn daughter.
When I took maternity leave nearly three decades ago, the guys asked me how my holiday was when I came back to the office. I promptly told them it was no vacation and that their wives were working harder than they were. "Don't tell them," they laughingly responded.
These guys were good Dad's according to social mores at the time - it's just that we've grown culturally - Tarzan isn't so appealing anymore. Don't you want a Real Man by today's standards?
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