Is Culture Holding You Back?

As a woman, the culture of your home, your corporation or your country can hold you back. Do you unknowingly support that?

I'm just home from Morocco, which was a colony of France throughout the first half of the 20th century. Most locals speak French, making it a comfortable place for tourists from France to come and enjoy the sun. And lots do!

As I watched the French women around our hotel, I admired their style and wondered how they manage everything...A high percentage (82%) of them have careers. Along with that, they sport nice, slim, immaculately dressed bodies and each has at least a couple of children in tow. They seem so together.  

Yet, they face cultural problems. In the most recent report of the World Economic Forum, which ranks countries according to gender equality, France fell to 46th place, behind Kazakhstan and Jamaica. Women in that country hold only 18 percent of elected positions and are paid 26 percent less than men.

Some are saying that an outdated Latin patriarchal culture is to blame. Statistics show that French men spend less than half the time the women do maintaining the home and caring for the children.

Ms. Fraisse, a French philosopher was quoted in the International Herald Tribune as saying that the country needs another revolution. Two centuries ago the country got rid of the king as father of the nation and now it needs to get rid of the father as king of the family.     

Society needs to find ways to make marriage and motherhood compatible with women having careers, and that means having men more involved in the home and family.

Women can contribute to that cultural change by making it our objective to share parental duties. If we think that we are the only ones who can feed and clothe the kids, that's exactly what will happen to the detriment of all involved.
     
Changing culture begins with awareness for both ourselves and the men in our lives. Together we can work on our own little corner of the world. Are you ready to start?  

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Comments

[karen rogers]

I came from the UK where men who did the dishes were regarded as effeminate. And any man taking off his outdoor shoes upon entering the house was at the pinnacle of being henpecked. When I came to North America Barry never changed diapers and I never dirtied my hands with toilet repairs and taking out garbage. But in this culture there were greater stirrings of awareness and opportunities to drop cultural influences. In my case this was made easier when retirement came for us and the cultural board of who makes the money got evened out and lost its daily markings upon my psyche. I ask for help in the house where once I was silent, as not to henpeck, effeminize, or minimze his earning contributions. Retirement is kinder to the cultural biases and I recommend self-empowerment before the wrinkles show. But wrinkled or not, it's always good when the horse can bolt from the stables and get that fresh air. Quite an eye-opener about France. Oh, and I take the garbage out each week and Barry empties dishwashers - life is grand!

[Betty-Ann Heggie]

What a delightful response and such good advice for women everywhere. Women in France are at the top of the list of world countires for the percentage on anti-depressants. Obviously, "having it all" is not what it appears. Its too hard to look like a stepford wife, rise the kids and have a career without divvying up the household labour. And we have to be the first ones to express our needs instead of soldering on.

[Kiki Estill]

France? Been there, lived there, done that. Now try living in Texas where you're really treated like a "little lady." I walked into a car dealership, my 5 year old son in tow, to purchase a car and was completely ignored by all the salesmen. Went back in with my husband and got immediate attention. I could go on and on...

[Betty-Ann Heggie]

Yes, the Texas market is a tough nut to crack. On the continuum the U.S. is masculine energy but the masculine energy in Texas goes way beyond that- it is extreme. This makes it difficult for women, as the culture in which we live is such an over-riding factor in our daily lives. We are all a combination of who we are inside and who the world tells us we are outside. It is so much easier if the outside world affirms our internal compass. This is one of the reasons why the Wold Economic Forum does this study each year. Where is a good place to live, if you are a woman? You are living somewhere that is a greater challenge but offers you an opportunity to develop greater internal fortitude. Take heart in knowing that you have the awareness to find those who will support you in being you.

[D]

Are you kidding?? In France, it's the men maintaining the home and taking care of the children, while women work outside of the home and make money. It's more liberal, egalitarian, and unique, compared to Latin-like cultures. Women there are less likely to take anti-depressants and the roles among men and women are flexible and they enjoy it, even though there are some right wing extremists, especially among Muslims living there. Also, French women are barely stepford wives and are not held to higher expectations like American women. France is a wonderful place to live for self-sufficient, self-confident, independent, and assertive women and French men love strong, brave, rational, logical, and intelligent women. French people, especially men, treat their women like equals, not like helpless, dumb, irrational, and illogical little ladies, especially when it comes to shopping. I heard French women are more knowledgeable about cars and electronics, compared to American women. And there's a lot more female politicians in France, compared to those in America. It's easy for women to get ahead in France.

America, on the other hand, is very tough for women, since it's so evangelical and conservative, even in New York, DC, LA, or Chicago, for example. People in America will treat women like stereotypical little ladies and if women don't act like them, they get nagged, or bitched at. Same goes in Canada (except in French-speaking provinces) just like any North American country.