Does Our Use of Language Limit Women?

Recently I asked a LinkedIn discussion group to consider the possibility that our use of language limits opportunities for women. I proposed that because our management teams are predominantly men, there is an excessive use of masculine energy words in our organizations. This means that most often, women have to use military terms or sports metaphors to have their ideas taken seriously, making it difficult to find their own voice.

Not surprisingly, some in the discussion group responded that I was overreacting. They said that every good speaker needs to consider their audience when making an argument, and that means speaking to them in language they will understand. What is important, they said, is that it we must speak authentically.

I agree that we are more successful communicators by using the words, style and inflection of those to whom we are speaking. But that becomes a problem if we are forced to use that language to fit in and can't really be ourselves. How can we be authentic if we have to change our "way of being" to be heard? What kind of a message are we sending to ourselves?

Early in my career I worked at Xerox and part of their sales training was an "Effective Listening" class. What we learned was that people listen best to those who are most like them. Thus, because we were selling mostly to men in offices, they wanted us to look like our customers. We were told to follow the Xerox dress code – jacket matches the pants, white shirt and tie. Obviously, this code needed some adjustments when they hired women, but they blithely read it to me nonetheless! Naturally, I didn't follow that dress code precisely, but I respectfully followed the spirit of it when dressing for work each day.

I believe that we need to do the same with our language. Don’t hesitate to use some of the words and metaphors that your audience will relate to, but be sure to balance that with some phrases of the opposite energy.

This is something that I am working on. Because of my past experience working with men I tend to use masculine words, but I am trying to develop a feminine audience for my message. If you like my concepts and I am using the right words for you, that would be the icing on the cake! How's that for a feminine metaphor?

My new e-book "Love the Woman in the Mirror" is now available!

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Comments

[vicki Holmes]

Congratulations on finishing the book!
Vicki

[Betty-Ann Heggie]

Thanks Vicki- I'll be interested in what you think....I learned a lot about myself when writing it. Love, BA