Baby Step Progress for Working Mothers

March 8, 2010 

When talking with a group of friends at the lake last summer, the conversation turned to the role of women in society. One of the men, a generous philanthropist and someone I consider to be highly evolved, stated that the biggest obstacle preventing the advancement of women is that they take time off to have babies.

His wife was aghast at this comment, but I appreciated his honesty; it gave us a chance to discuss the subject openly. As long as having babies to propagate the species is considered the responsibility of women alone, we will continue to be at a disadvantage in the workplace.

Our system is set up to reward those who join a company after university and then remain working full-time (with overtime, of course) for the duration of their career. Taking time off for pregnancy and childbirth is career-limiting.

Another issue is the faulty belief that working mothers are less committed to the company, affecting promotions and remuneration. In fact, married women without children earn 13 percent more than those with children, while the opposite is true for men. Of married men, those without children earn 11 percent less than those with children. See how we subtly reward men for being the family’s breadwinner while punishing women for the same?

Because motherhood is a key trigger for gender stereotyping, many professional women choose not to have children. The whole of society, however, would suffer if these smart, capable career women decided to remain childless – not to mention the effect of declining birthrate on the country’s economy. Though childbirth is not our problem alone, thus far we have solely carried the load.

From time to time, a young woman will ask me what it will take to end discrimination against women in the workplace. My answer is always the same: "When men start taking paternity leave." Only when both sexes are equally involved in having and nurturing children will it be viewed as a societal responsibility. Such conditions would eliminate the current double-standard women face.

I am encouraged by recent studies that show men are increasingly feeling a conflict between work and family. Having men more involved with the birth and care of their children will result in more accepting attitudes toward balancing work and family, and more progressive workplace policies will result. And that can only be good for the role of women.

It may be baby step progress, but as we celebrate International Women’s day, it is a step in the right direction. Ultimately, it will not only be good for us, but for our babies too!

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Comments

[Dawn]

That's so true, Betty-Ann!. My husband, a teacher, used to demand why supper wasn't ready when he got home when our first daughter was 3 months old. He thought I was home all day doing nothing and that was how traditional gender roles told him it should be done. Then, when she was 2, it was the first of many summers he had to take care of her solo and the household chores while I was working. I often came home to him worn out of patience & energy. But he says it was the best thing for him, and now he thinks every man should spend time at home caring for the children and the home, by themselves. But that means no more wives saying, 'I could never trust my husband to do THAT! If you want to learn how much your husband is capable of, you must give him the chance.

[Betty-Ann Heggie]

You are soooo right. When my daughters were little I traveled a lot in my job and my husband ended up being "Mr. Mom". He volunteered at the co-operative playschool, made lunches and went on sports road trips. The house may not have been as clean as I would have liked but our children were always well cared for. I have always said that if a woman wants to have a career and a family she needs to choose her husband carefully. Then she has to let him show what he can do! Thanks for sharing your story. I hope women read it and benefit from your experience.